7/8 7/12 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/27 7/27 7/27 7/27 7/27 8/2 8/3 8/3 8/9 8/9 8/16 8/23
FS 3|3 FS 0|0 HB 0|2 BW 0|4 EL 1|1 ON 0|0 IS 0|13 EL 1|1 IS 0|0 WW 0|0 ON 3|0 KF 6|3 KF 0|1|0 FS 0 BW 1|2 EL 1|2 R★ 2 BW 0 The
WW 0|0 WA 1|1 KF 1|3 KF 1|10 HB 0|0 WA 3|3 WO 11|8 WA 0|2 WA 3|3 ON 3|3 WW 1|1 WO 0|0 EL 4|0|1 BW 2 WA 0|1 BW 0|0 G★ 0 EL 2 Thrill

Gameday 5/4: Holy Balls @ Belgian Wiffles, Islanders/Squirrels @ Onanism

2:00 PM            'Gian Joint            Southgate, MI
(0 - 4)
 0 Game 1 3
(3 - 3)
 LP: Pearson (0-2) PerfeKt Game WP: Farkas (1-1) 
0 Game 2 1
 LP: Paquin (0-1) WP: N. Braden (2-1) 
Line on the Series:  Total HR: O/U 3.5  /  UNDER

Preview: The Balls stumbled out of the box in Week 1. Consistency is still the issue as their bats produced early in both games, but could not muster any support for their pitchers late. Breaking into the win column doesn't get any easier this week as they face the 1-2 punch of Belgian's rookie staff. Although, the sane dimensions in left field will be a welcome site.

Preview: Belgian earned their first win of 2014 yesterday before dropping game 2 of the series. It's been 4 down-to-the-wire games to start the season, now the yellows aim to get over .500. They have their ace, Farkas, back on the mound, and bit bat, Strojny, back in the lineup for the series.



2:00 PM            Jerk Turf            Novi, MI
(1 - 3)
 0 Game 1 11
(2 - 2)
 LP: Mundel (0-2) 4 innings WP: Jardine (1-1) 
HR: Haffey (1) 
1 Game 2 13
 LP: Linebrink (1-1) 4 innings WP: Haffey (1-1) 
Line on the Series:  Series Result: IS sweep, ON sweep, split

Preview: After a rough game 1 loss last week, the Islanders were excited to get out 1-1 with a close victory in the second. The team's confident that Mundel will quickly shake off the rust and return to his 2013 all-star form. He should prove to be a good trial-by-fire for the virgin Onanism talent. While a road trip, the field set up will be very familiar to the Islanders, and that should play equally into their hands. Currently second in Ringler, they get their first shot at a divisional opponent today.

Preview: Today the league's excited to finally reveal the greatest mystery of the offseason. Who are the Onanism??? The first test to get that answer comes against the Islanders, as the Onanism start a long (but quick) six-game homestand. Will Captain Haffey command the team in the ace role, or will one of the bucketheads claim that honor? Whose bats will have the most juice in them? We're now mere hours away from those answers as Onanism looks to leap frog a division opponent.



4:00 PM            Jerk Turf            Novi, MI
(4 - 0)
 4 Game 1 3
(2 - 2)
 WP: Doby (2-0) LP: Jardine (1-1) 
2 Game 2 0
 WP: Hewlett (1-0) LP: Haffey (1-1) 
Line on the Series:  Total Ks: O/U 45.5  /  OVER (63 Ks)

Preview: Two thrilling victories opened the season for the Squirrels in their returning debut - although they played 4 games worth of Wiffleball. That leaves them without ace Brandon D'Agnese for this series, so Captain Sessions is rolling out a rookie/veteran combo on the mound to face the nigh-entirely virgin Onanism. The Squirrels look vintage with their .085 batting average paired with a 2-0 record. They'll look to capitalize against the new blood and extend their early division lead.

Preview: Today the league's excited to finally reveal the greatest mystery of the offseason. Who are the Onanism??? The world will get to see, too, with one of this series games being filmed. Who will be the star of the show? Will Captain Haffey command the team in the ace role, or will one of the bucketheads claim that honor? Whose bats will have the most juice in them? We're now mere hours away from those answers as Onanism looks to jump ahead of another division opponent in the standings.