7/8 7/12 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/27 7/27 7/27 7/27 7/27 8/2 8/3 8/3 8/9 8/9 8/16 8/23
FS 3|3 FS 0|0 HB 0|2 BW 0|4 EL 1|1 ON 0|0 IS 0|13 EL 1|1 IS 0|0 WW 0|0 ON 3|0 KF 6|3 KF 0|1|0 FS 0 BW 1|2 EL 1|2 R★ 2 BW 0 The
WW 0|0 WA 1|1 KF 1|3 KF 1|10 HB 0|0 WA 3|3 WO 11|8 WA 0|2 WA 3|3 ON 3|3 WW 1|1 WO 0|0 EL 4|0|1 BW 2 WA 0|1 BW 0|0 G★ 0 EL 2 Thrill

Oakland County Onanism Bursts onto the Scene


Novi, MI
#Expansion   #2014   #Onanism
#Haffey   Rookies
 October 1st was one of the most exciting days in WSEM history. Dozens of players changed teams, the Squirrels were reborn, and the Wolfpack assembled. We thought we had a tenth team lined up, but later discovered they had to drop out.

We made some Kiefer Sutherland references during the October podcast trying to tease who would captain the new tenth team, but no one caught on.

In all of the craziness in early October, Kiefer Haffey was left out in the dust despite quietly having a very nice rookie season in 2013. He was third in the league in ERA, and had a perfect game in his first start. He helped keep the Warriors afloat before Sam Hatt was able to return from injury, and kept them in the playoff picture.

Everyone knows what Alex Shore and Westside did this offseason, but it was news to Kiefer when he was left off the roster. The Belgian Wiffles, Islanders and Holy Balls showed some interest in signing the 3-star free agent, but when Kiefer heard the tenth franchise slot was available, he jumped at the opportunity. After two weeks of talks with the front office about all that captaining a team entails, he never got turned off. Instead he only got more excited.

Kiefer tried out two names before setting on one. 1) Oakland County Centaurs. 2) Oakland County Cannons. Finally, the third and official team name - Oakland County Onanism.

The rest of the eight-man Onanism roster will consist of all rookies:

#2 Chris Park OF
#4 Nick Hool P/SS
#8 Kiefer Haffey P/SS
#10 Trey Jardine P/OF
#13 Nate Motta OF
#34 Dan Sims P/UT
#44 Matt Brasil P/SS
#58 Joe Foley OF

The home field of Onanism will be at Novi Meadows in Novi, which is located at 11 Mile and Taft Road. After granting Kiefer the expansion franchise, Commissioner Coffee took the chance to ask him a few questions about bringing the new squad into the league. Keep it stiff and check out Haffey's responses below.

Carl: What are you most excited about now that you are captain of an NWLA team?
Kiefer: think more than anything I'm just excited to see how a team full of baseball players transitions into a wiffleball team. Last year I personally underestimated how different the two games are - especially from a hitting and pitching standpoint.

Carl: Do you think you guys can compete with 7/8 on your team being rookies?
Kiefer: I definitely think it's a possibility. I've never seen these guys play wiffleball really - we're all guys who played baseball throughout high school but as stated before - they're two different games. My prediciton for a best case scenario as of now would be squeaking in as the 5 seed.

Carl: Do you have any bitterness towards Alex and the Warriors?
Kiefer: No, not at all. As soon as I read about the new "Star Cap" rule I knew that teams would be making huge roster changes and I didn't play nearly well enough last year to be a "must-have" player. I also think that because of this new cap rule this league is going to expand to way more teams.

Carl: What are your team colors?
Kiefer: Grey and Green